Saul Goodman's Guides (2)

So you want to disappear? Whether you got the fuzz on your back or a price on your head, Saul Goodman can help! Big Brother’s got eyes everywhere—don’t pretend they’re not all watching you. Nowadays you’d better assume anything you do is already on the 24/7 news feed, but there are measures you can take. Darken your windows. Bash your smartphone. Cut up your credit cards. But first, buy this book. From the cunning counsel (me) who kept you out of the slammer with his handy manual Don’t Go to Jail!, here’s your escape plan for busting out of the prison of modern surveillance. You might be up to no good or you might be up to nothing at all—hey, it’s not my business, and let me tell you, it’s nobody else’s business, either. My business is making sure it stays your business. An unlisted phone number is no longer enough. I want to help you find your inner alias. I want to show you your dream safe house. I don’t want to hear about you on the Internet. Get Off the Grid! can do all of this and more. It’s your one down-to-earth guide on going to ground, and not just that: it’s the best vanishing act you’ll never see!

Lawyer Saul Goodman of Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad offers his own particular brand of funny, down-to-earth legal advice. Got the long arm of the law around your neck? Does Lady Justice have her eye on you? Were you set up at a lineup? Saul Goodman can help! There are some crazy laws out there. Did you know that in New Mexico there’s a law that says “idiots” can’t vote? Or that Massachusetts still has a ban on Quakers and witches? Or that in Georgia it’s illegal to put a donkey in a bathtub? Even if you’re not bathing a donkey (and hey, if you are, no judgment from me!), you could be breaking the law right now and not even know it. That’s why you need Don’t Go to Jail! You can carry the advice of a seasoned legal practitioner with you anywhere you go, helping you to stay out of the courts and in the good graces of the criminal justice system. Want to be your own attorney? Want to avoid getting hauled in on a warrant? Want to keep the cops from discovering the baggie of “your friend’s” marijuana stashed under the passenger seat of your car? This is your chance to get those tips and many more savory bits of indispensable legal advice—all for much less than my usual hourly fee.